Our child must have the best of everything!

Not so dear friends. And it’s in neither you nor your good lady’s interests to indulge this fantasy.

When we get to the business end of the preparation for a new arrival there’s a shit load to do. There will come a moment when you wonder whether you really do have enough formula stocked up – just in case. The answer to this question is always yes, unless you happen to live in some far flung emote island, in which case I would question the sanity of delivering a child there.

You and she will start to wonder about the various prams, clothes, toys, gadgets and other assorted detritus that fill the homes of your child rearing friends. They have so much shit, and you have none. That seems to be a problem. You must buy.

You will probably start to think you need to get on that and get on it quick. You don’t want to be caught short with last year’s baby bag, a second rate steriliser or a non vegan papoose. This will pass as you start to see the cost of what i have started to think of as assorted ‘baby crap’ eat away any money you sensibly squirrelled away for this joyous occasion.

Rule number one – if you need it, especially in most western countries, you will be able to find it when this need has made itself known.

Rule number two – baby companies are money sucking leeches who want you to part with all your money. Because they know you will.

You cant help it. You don’t want to be that guy who couldn’t provide, you don’t want to be the cheapskate dad or embarrassed about the colour of your nappy changing bag. Well get over it. A little bit of humble pie, a pink change bag and a willingness to go second hand could save you thousands of dollars. Seriously lads, don’t fall into the trap. Ebay, buysellswap sites, second hand sales are always there and will always give you what you need.

You will spend the next 18 years of your life picking up after your newborn and loving very minute of it – you are about to be a dad – which means now we all have to shop smart. No designer crap for a child that will grow out of it in a month. That’s insane!

Any dad who pays full price for a stroller just isn’t trying hard. For example if you are able to buy a second hand bugaboo – a brand that commands the prices associated with most second hand cars – you could pull out the parts that don’t look in top nick, get in touch with the company and buy new sections online to snap into place. Before you know it you’ve managed to save a thousand bucks.

I am going to be a father.

It is my job to spend money wisely – and when I say wisely, I mean as little as possible.

Happy hunting.

B

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