C-Sections Freak me out

I’m no longer freaked out by the fact I’m going to be a dad – but by holy fuck I am freaked out about the process of getting my son out of his mother.

I would recommend every man watch at least two videos – one of a woman giving birth naturally and one of a C-Section. Both are amazing and miraculous (and I know that word is over used but have you seen the size of a baby vs the size of your wife’s vagina?). Both of these will put you in awe of your significant other.

Vaginal births fill me with dread because they are messy uncontrollable clusterfucks full of swearing and shouting and blood and shit and tears – mostly from me probably. Shit goes wrong and goes wrong fast. The problems for the baby, for the mother, the possibility of the need to cut the baby out – yes people, they literally have to slice into your wife’s genitals.

Now this realization should give you two sensations. The first is Fuck me! The second is that your wife and literally most women you have ever met are the hardest bastards walking. I am in fucking awe!

C Sections are colder, clinical, planned and sterile – plus there should be a curtain hiding the mechanics (and the blood from you). But there’s a good chance what will happen if you are allowed in the operation room is that you will either directly or indirectly through a reflection somewhere see your wife’s innards. The woman you love is on an operating table having her belly sliced open and a baby removed, before being placed in your still shaking hands. The advice from friends who’ve been through it – much like the Wizard of Oz – don’t look behind the curtain!!!

It’s OK to freak out now. Because you’re worried, you will. But I know from my perspective, whatever happens, I have to put my worries and fears to one side. I don’t have to get sliced and diced or push a baby out through my genitals. I have no right to bring my stress into that room when she’s doing all the hard yards.

I don’t know how I’m going to do it. Meditation. Drugs. Stoicism. Somehow I am going to be worry free, stress free and to one person my wife can count on when the inevitable happens and junior decides he wants out.

Laters

 

B

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