Shit – she can’t drink

It’s a bastard for her, the whole no alcohol thing. Especially when you’ve people looking over your shoulder every five minutes.

‘Is she pregnant…tsk’

‘A glass of wine….tsk’

‘I cant believe she’d take a risk like that…tsk’

Or there’s the other side of the argument.

‘Does no harm’

‘There’s still a French nation, they don’t stop wine just because they’re pregnant.’

‘Recommendations vary’

Whatever side of the coin you’re on. And I recommend avoiding abstinence because its fucking boring. At some point the wife is going to slow or stop drinking booze, and then coffee. Yes. Its that too. You’re meant to cut down on all fun things. So the challenge is now to go out, find a restaurant, visit some friends without resorting to the dreadfully dull….oh, I’ll have a glass of water thanks.

Now we didn’t abstain, but did reduce. So the pair of us are in constant search for the interesting drink that doesn’t contain fifteen spoons of sugar or all the caffeine. We went high and low. But our top five were:

  1. De caf Nespresso: It’s a ball ache to get a different bag of coffee and then a different pot made. I know we hate those adverts with Clooney, but fuck it – these are simple and easy. Plus you can make a passable imitation of a cappuccino if you buy the right kit.
  2. Fruit and Soda water: kid yourself you’re getting your vitamins. But hydrates and its interesting – find the weirdest things you can and just go for it.
  3. Alcohol free beer: go for the german brands. They just do it better.
  4. San Pellegrino: they do a fruit soda drink in all sorts of different combinations (you know the one with the foil covering the ring pull. If it’s too sweet cut it with Soda water.
  5. Ginger beer:  Sugary as fuck and if you drink this every day then diabetes will visit you in the night along with gout and rotting teeth – but as a once in a while it’s actually great – especially with Mexican food.

Shit we got sick of quickly:

  • Coke – just bad for you
  • Water – fine on a run, but not when youre relaxing
  • Tea – living in Asia you get tea’d out quick, plus there’s the caffeine issue.

The one thing I would say is that this is a great way to show a bit of solidarity with the other half. Only drink when she drinks and make it a team effort – because let’s face it, that’s what it should be. I guarantee you will gain a new found respect for your particular poison when you can only have the one on a weekend. No more miller lite for you – you’ll be going craft ale like the greatest hipster wanker you know, pissing on about some great bottle of red or waving your small batch distillery bourbon around like it’s the water of life…have fun.